No, Your Child’s Not Confused. He’s Multilingual.
Why the fear we feel around raising multilingual kids is real—but wrong.
“Am I expecting too much of them?”
I can’t tell you how many parents have whispered this to me.
“Michelle… I think maybe we should stop. He’s getting confused.”
I’ve heard it in classrooms, Zoom calls, libraries, parks—and even inside my own head.
When my son was just four, he was surrounded by three languages: English, French, and Dutch. We were raising him abroad, and language was all around him. But when his speech didn’t come as early or clearly as some peers, I started to second-guess everything.
Even our pediatrician—smart, kind, well-meaning—looked at me and said,
“You might want to simplify. Kids get confused.”
That was the moment.
That’s the moment I’ve seen so many families hit.
And often, what comes next?
They stop.
They abandon the heritage language.
They put the bilingual books back on the shelf.
They decide, out of love and fear, that it’s too risky to keep going.
And the doors start to quietly close.
But here’s the truth:
Multilingualism doesn’t cause confusion. Fear does.
The fear is real. But it’s misinformed.
It’s the fear that your child will fall behind.
That they won’t catch up.
That you’re doing something “extra” when you should be doing something “normal.”
But the science—and the stories—say otherwise.
This week, NPR published a story that made me cheer out loud.
It tackled the exact fear that paralyzes parents:
“Many pediatricians now say exposing children to multiple languages doesn’t confuse them. In fact, it may boost brain development.” (NPR, April 2024)
Finally!
Finally, families get to hear what educators, linguists, and bilingual adults have known for decades:
Children are not confused.
They are learning.
They are navigating.
They are resilient.
What about my son?
He’s ten now.
He’s added Spanish and Italian to his world. That’s language five and six.
Not perfectly. Not all at once.
But with joy. And more importantly—because he wants to.
His English reading lagged at first.
Dutch was his first to flow.
He mixed everything up, as all bilingual kids do.
And now? He’s confidently navigating all of it—still mixing, still learning, still thriving.
And honestly? He’s ahead of most of his peers in the ways that matter. But most important to me, he feels good in his own skin.
He is kind. He is aware that there is more than one right way.
He accepts different ways to live.
But let’s talk about your child.
These are the questions I hear most often:
Q: Isn’t mixing languages a sign of confusion?
A: No. It’s a normal part of multilingual development. Just like a toddler mixes sounds before mastering full words, bilingual kids mix languages before they sort them.
Q: What if they talk later than their peers?
A: That can happen—but studies show multilingual children not only catch up, they often surpass monolingual peers in problem-solving and cognitive flexibility. (This is 100% true in my household.)
Q: What if my child has speech delays or neurodivergence?
A: Research shows that children with speech challenges or autism can still benefit from multiple languages, especially when introduced gently, joyfully, and consistently.
Q: What if I don’t speak the language fluently myself?
A: You don’t have to. Really. You just have to show up!
And by the way, that’s one of the key reasons I created TA-DA! like I did—to help parents and teachers bring languages to life, even if they don’t speak them fluently.
Please never forget this.
This is NOT a competition.
You can’t put kids in a box.
Not all kids talk early.
Not all kids mix the same way.
Not all kids follow the same path.
But every child deserves the chance to connect with their roots, explore new cultures, and feel proud of who they are.
So next time someone suggests “just stick to English,” pause.
And ask yourself:
Am I responding to my child’s limits?
Or to my own fear?
Because most of the time?
Your child is doing just fine.
It’s the grown-ups who need reassuring.
The takeaway:
You are not “asking too much.”
Your child is not confused.
And no—you don’t need to be a fluent speaker to raise a multilingual child.
What you do need is support, consistency, and playful tools that meet you where you are.
That’s why I built TA-DA!
Not for tiger parents.
Not for perfect families.
But for real ones.
The kind who want their children to grow up proud of who they are—and curious about who others are, too.
And to enjoy the ride.
This isn’t about raising fluent speakers.
It’s about raising kids who get it.
Who listen.
Who connect.
Who build bridges.
Want to go further?
My cat Charlie and I I’ve put together a free mini-guide:
My confident 10 year-old multilingual and our Charlie.
“What to Say When Someone Tells You to ‘Stick to One Language’”. (P.S. Charlie matches me in attitude!)
It’s got:
Facts for your pediatrician
Reassurance for your partner
Talking points for your mother-in-law
And hope for you
[Click here to get the guide.]
Let’s stop the fear. Let’s raise confident, multilingual kids—at their own pace, in their own way.
