Children's Resistance to Language Learning — And The Lasting Impact of Parental Decisions
Day 12, Part 2 Infographic: Lily's Multilingual Journey & Overcoming Language Resistance
Welcome back to Day 12 of TA-DA!'s Community Bilingual Blogathon!
Continuing our exploration into the many layers of bilingual parenting, we are delighted to bring you another real-life story. This time, we hear from a former intern of mine, a linguistics major at Berkeley, who once resisted her own bilingual upbringing.
As a young adult, she now looks back with gratitude on her linguistic journey and shares what she wishes she'd understood earlier. Her story adds another layer to our understanding of why it’s crucial for parents to stay the course, even when met with resistance.
A Global Upbringing: From Venezuela to China and Beyond
A heartfelt moment between Lily and her grandmother in China, captured during one of Lily's visits.
Lily’s narrative is a patchwork of countries and languages.
Born in Venezuela to a Chinese working-class family, she spent her formative years in China, raised by her grandparents.
She then moved back to Venezuela and eventually to the United States, absorbing multiple languages along her journey—ranging from regional dialects of Chinese to Spanish and English.
When Kids Say "No Más" & Addressing Language Resistance
The resistance Lily felt towards her heritage languages was palpable. Just imagine being a teenager, negotiating the already complex corridors of identity, and feeling burdened by your heritage language. It's not just an American teen drama; it’s a global coming-of-age struggle.
Lily shares an incident that resonated with her deeply:
"One day, I was on the train with my little cousin, conversing in Yaxi, a lesser-known Chinese dialect. The stares from the passengers felt like a chokehold. Finally, I told her, 'Let's speak in Mandarin or English.' My cousin’s response? 'Why should you care about what others think?'
Those words triggered an epiphany."
Those words were Lily’s wake-up call.
The Value of Overcoming Resistance
Lily's experience underscores a point that might just be the heart and soul of our series: resistance should not deter commitment. To highlight this, let's consider another story.
During a recent podcast appearance, a mother shared her regret over succumbing to her daughter's reluctance to learn her father's language.
"My (now teenage) daughter now tells me she wishes I hadn’t given in," she lamented.
This serves as a cautionary tale for parents and emphasizes the balance between honoring children's emotions and making long-term beneficial choices.
When your child says "no más," perhaps it's the exact moment to insist, "vamos a seguir" (let's continue).
The Lasting Rewards
Lily’s adult perspective offers hope and vital lessons. Not only can she connect with her grandmother and contribute to her community, but she's also found a renewed sense of pride in her linguistic and cultural heritage.
"To me," Lily says, "maintaining my heritage language is as crucial as sustaining my social identity, especially because language is a key connector to my culture and background. I wish I had appreciated this when I was younger."
We hope Lily's story resonates with you as it does with us. This narrative is more than just one person’s experience; it serves as an important reminder that the paths to bilingualism are diverse, winding, and laden with hurdles that can and should be overcome.
If you're a parent navigating these waters, or an educator looking for a real-world example to share, consider this your call to action: Share this story. Discuss it. Question it. And if it moves you, let it inspire action in your community.
Join us in the comments below or on our social channels to discuss what 'staying the course' means to you. Don't forget to follow TA-DA! for more inspiring stories and practical tips for bilingual families.
Further Reading & Resources
Psychological Benefits of Bilingualism: A study published in Psychological Science suggests that bilingualism can improve cognitive abilities unrelated to language. Read more here.
Language and Social Identity: A seminal paper by Judith Irvine, "Language and Social Identity: A Psychosocial Approach," explores the ways in which language shapes, and is shaped by, social identity. Read more here.
Holding Onto Heritage: In a study from International Journal of Bilingual Education and Bilingualism, the importance of maintaining a heritage language for the well-being of immigrant children is discussed. Read more here.
Map of World Dialects: Ethnologue's interactive tool to discover the linguistic diversity of our world. Explore here.
